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Heat?The look confused me, but I tore my eyes away anyway more glad than ever that my tan skin and the darkness of the room were concealing the blush that was probably consuming my whole body. After a few awkward seconds of silence, I looked back at him.Now tell me your secret,” I demanded in an attempt to change the topic and distract from my humiliating admission.He still didn’t say anything though. He just crashed his lips into mine.I gasped in shock and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue between my parted lips. Confusion, shock, and lust warred in me as my tongue warred with his. My body was seemingly oblivious to the battle raging in my mind. It reacted automatically, driven by my desire for him or the alcohol. Probably both.My fingers tangled in his hair as I let him slowly lean me down onto my back with him on top of me. Our kiss was all fierce, booze-fueled passion and no finesse or actual skill, but neither of us seemed to care. In fact, there seemed to be little. But I don't know if that's true either. See, the way I see it, I'm using them. The fact that they'll survive and I won't is beside the point. You see, I want to die. Yep, it's true. I want to die. I have no reason to go on living and no one will miss me.My foster parents? Yeah right. They'll be happy I'm not eating everything in sight, and they'll probably hope that no one at DCFS catches on so they can keep cashing the check I generate every month. Friends, who would want to be my friend? I move so much, thanks to DCFS, that making friends is a no win proposition. Now I just keep everybody away, be an asshole, or whatever works. I've lost too many friends already, I don't need any more.I found these guys I'm helping out on the web, where I do have a few friends. They might notice I haven't posted to the blog today, but hey, they'll forget all about me in a week. I've seen it happen. So it's all going to happen because of one tenth of a percent. Kind of ironic I think.What brought my.
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